Welcome to "There Is No Dog". This is where I uncork my ears and pour wine into your eyes.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I turned this in to my Humanties II teacher as one of our state-mandated journal responses to a work of classic literature

This is a story about Freedom, Beauty, Truth, and...

Above all things, ROCK.

I'm here to tell you a little story about Jack and Diane. Two American kids, although one's partially Italian, growing up on a treehouseboat, that is to say not a houseboat in a tree but a house in a tree that is on a boat. Growing up on top of THB, they were subject to seasickness none of us land lubbers or regular houseboaters could fathom. You see, Jack and Diane were so high up that every slight current rocked them more than a foot, and this was a constant barrage of current, because the houseboat was in a wave pool.

Jack and Diane never knew the reason why they were so sick all the time. After all, they had lived in that treehouseboatwavepool for their entire lives, and never visited anyone else's house. This was mostly due to the fact that they only knew a few other people, because they threw up a lot due to seasickness. Also, they lived on a giant flying airplane, so they knew maybe 5 of the 8 passengers, and four of them were their parents. The 5th was a stout man named Dave.

Dave had often told them about far off lands, on the ground, where people lived in boats that weren't in a wave pool, and in trees that weren't boats on planes. But Dave did a lot of peyote, so after telling the children these stories he would become violent and claim that he was Abraham Johnson, the first man to ever die.

The kids wondered though, what if there was a place like Dave and Abraham Johnson the first man ever to die claimed, where the boats road on trees, instead of vice-versa, and planes flew instead flew in wave pools? The kids decided it was better not to think of those things, because those things were gay, and threw up due to seasickness. But while they spewed their dinner, they thought of freedom, beauty, truth, and rock.

Dave, meanwhile, flew his car down to the magical world discussed, and bought more peyote.

The end.


Should I get an A on this?