Anti-Chrysler brings forth black friday sales on new exoskeletons for children from brands like Matel and Fischer-Price; seven disc special edition collector's box set of "Smokin' Aces III: Kimpossible Mission!" with 18 hundred hours of bonus footage and commentary from Gus Van Sant, Seth Green, Neil Patrick Harris, Norm MacDonald, Sir Ian McKellen, and Kaitlin Olsen (aka Dee Reynolds from FX's "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"); "Who you gonna call?" Finally, and for the first time on Laser-Disc, the complete collection of Dan Marino's Sun-Pontiac, Tampa infomercials with special guest commentary from Joel and Ethan Coen, Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Juilane Moore, John Tuttoro, and the GEICO Cavemen!
HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET! HEIL SKYNET!
Just released from the Disney vault and only available on months with "R's" in them, the all new LEGO Diet Snapple Large Hadron Collider toy set with guest LEGO bricks designed by Issac Brock of "Modest Mouse", Jake Gyllenhall, the Challenger disaster, genocide, Cuba Gooding Jr, the dancing Janet Renos, Reptar, William "William" Shakespeare, Thom Yorke of "Radiohead", and more! Plus, a coupon for 20% off new "Doritos: Challenger Disaster" tortilla chip flasks!; Hundreds dead in terrorist attack on Jeff Dunham's rape room Family Guy Hadron Collider Issac Brock of "Modest Mouse"
SEARS TOWER BE THE MONOLITH TO OUR BEASTLY SORROWS!
Doctor! Doctor! Give me the news! I've got a bad case of "NOW! That's what I call Dubstep Vol. 16" featuring dubstep remixes of "Good Vibrations", "Age of Aquarius/Let The Sun Shine", "15 Step", "Accidentally in Love (Theme from 'Shrek 2')", "Pon de Floor", "Umbrella", "Sgt Pepper's Lonely Silver Hammer", "The Challenger Disaster", "Wonderwall", and "Two Princes (Theme from 'Donnie Darko')"!
SEVEN SWANS ASSIMILATING! SIX GEESE APPROPRIATING! FIVE GOLDEN PIRACY RAIDS! FOUR COLUMBINES! THREE FRANTIC HALLELUJAHS! TWO-FOR-ONE DRINKS! RUPERT MURDOCH!
Five-Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six-Hundred poxes upon your house today only at participating Walm*Art Salvation Centers! Use the coupon Santa-Code "HOPELESS" online at walmart.edu/2012/geico/skynet/kimpossible.htm and click on Robo-Mohammad's Deal-of-the-Day!; Now get APR Financing on your Snapple RaceCard! Just go to snapple.org/newworldorder/ronppaul08/challengerdisaster.org and click on Jeff Dunham's Door-Buster Diety-Acceptance button (if you need help, click on the Office 2007 Paperclip) and he'll lead you to the ninth level of Dante's Hell! Deal only available while overestimated, call 1-800-BAN-4LOKO and ask for Austin Powers!
WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT STUPID HUMAN SUIT?
"Extreme Makeover: Rock of Love" premieres tonight after "For the Love of Ray J ON DECK!" this Thursday on IFC!; Tonight on Conan: Lee Harvey Oswald with all-child KORN tribute band CHILD KORN!; FREE WATCH CHAINS IN EXCHANGE FOR EVERY ONE-GALLON BAG OF YOUR OWN HAIR!; FREE DESIGNER COMBS WITH THE EXCHANGE OF POCKETWATCH!
ZEITGEIST CAVEMEN, WE GIVE BLOOD SACRIFICE TO YOUR OBLIVION BUTTERFLY KISSES!
*takes his zoloft*
Who wants to get drunk tonight?
~Kip
Friday, December 3, 2010
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