Welcome to "There Is No Dog". This is where I uncork my ears and pour wine into your eyes.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Post-Post Title

I need help.

This is going to get really narcissistic up in this club, Mr. Usher.

"Okay," ~Usher (2012-1811)

"And I was like yeah." ~Usher (1984-20122012)

"This waking life... Ugh..." ~Usher (then-not then)


I used to ask that question to myself every day, but I also used to get lost every day because for a while there someone had the funny idea to keep changing my route home so that there were always missing streets, and sometimes blue things. Like, blue birds. Or something else blue.

Things that are blue and are not also birds: lots of things, some blue soaps, trees (I think?), buckets can also be blue.

My mom is getting older and I used to be able to see it but now I can't anymore and the guitar on the side of me looks like it's on fire in my periphery but it's actually just the overhead light reflecting off of it because that's how music works, Jerry. Totes worried about my olding mom. She needs to be older somewhere cooler. I can't let her grow up in this GHETTO UNIVERSITY.

That's a moor, eh?


I want to make a movie about a dystopian future world under religious rule, except it would be a dark comedy soundtracked by "The Thermals" and in the future they let teenagers fresh out of high school become "Christ Warriors" and run around with baseball bats and beat the shit out of people supposedly to keep the peace but actually jsut to keep the public scared and in line but then there's a love story or something and it all came from this idea I had after that scary lady on that wife swapping show said that thing about how the other wife wasn't a christian and then she roared like a mothra and ripped up the check (I forget what the check was for it was a shitty show) and she's like, "I'm a Christ Warrior" or maybe she said god instead of christ but I think they're totally the same fucker.

And then I thought hey, maybe that plugged drain in my sink isn't actually a plugged drain but part of a bigger conspiracy the likes of which I'm not even prepared for because I don't understand it and it's stupid.

Wait, I don't have to write anymore.

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